Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, 1950-yesterday.

I didn't know Eve very well. She was my friend Claudia's professor at CUNY, and Claudia became good friends with Eve and her partner Hal. But when I got diagnosed with a brain tumor, Claudia brought us together, and Eve was so generous toward me, sharing her own experiences with radiation and her breast cancer, knowing that I didn't have anyone else in my life who knew what that was like. She was generous and peaceful and wise, sympathetic and distracting and such a survivor. Which is why I'm sure that of anyone I've ever met, if she believes there will be a next life, then there will be a next life. (See her friend Cathy's note here.)

So she's one that you can't really be sad about for her sake. It sounds like the end was rough in a lot of ways, and I keep wanting to be happy for her that she's out of the pain. But I'm sad for me and everyone left behind without her. So yeah. I keep wanting to say, "See you in the next life, Eve." I look forward to meeting her again.


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Sometimes writing just can't capture what you feel. But you do your best.